yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
