I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
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i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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