she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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