So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
