Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
