Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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