I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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