took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
