took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
