I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
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Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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