it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
