I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This baby is an asshole
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
