In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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