He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
