R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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