she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
