i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
