Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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