If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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