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I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
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