apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
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He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.