john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
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theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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