i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
