the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
