I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
