My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
