if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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