They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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