remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
