Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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