OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
