I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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