She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
