so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
