Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
