Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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