New invention idea: vibrating tampons
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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