When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
