Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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