I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
