Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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