She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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