You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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