Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
