tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
