And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
