apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
