We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
