Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
