It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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