Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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