did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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