my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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