bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
