Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
