so let's talk penis.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
