If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
time to smoke my breakfast
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
