I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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