i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
