weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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