I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
