My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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