I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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